What to Do When Your Team Doesn’t Like You (And Why It Matters More Than You Think)
How to Lead Effectively Even When Popularity Isn’t on Your Side
Let’s not tiptoe around this—sometimes your team just doesn’t like you.
Maybe you’ve felt it in the awkward silence when you walk into a room, or seen it in the lack of energy during meetings.
That’s the moment it gets real: your people don’t vibe with you.
And yeah, it stings. But here’s the gut check—does it even matter if your team likes you?
The truth is, it matters more than you think.
You can’t lead effectively if your team isn’t on board with you. That doesn’t mean you need to be best friends with everyone, but if your leadership is met with eye-rolls and passive resistance, guess what?
You’re steering a ship that’s quietly headed for an iceberg.
Here’s the reality: you don’t need to be liked, but you need to be respected—and respect comes from connection, not fear.
So, how do you turn this around when you’re not exactly the office favourite?
1. Flip the Script: Stop Trying to Be Liked, Start Being Real
Most leaders fall into one of two traps: trying too hard to be liked or shutting down emotionally when they realize they’re not. Both are fatal mistakes.
Your team doesn't need a "cool boss" or an unapproachable dictator—they need someone real.
Here’s a challenge: drop the facade.
How to Implement: At your next team meeting, ditch the script. Instead of leading with business talk, be human.
Address the elephant in the room and ask directly, “What’s not working in our dynamic right now?”
You’ll be surprised how much can shift just by acknowledging the tension.
Ask questions like, “How can I support you better?” or “What’s getting in the way of us working well together?”
When your team sees you’re willing to get uncomfortable, they’ll respect the hell out of you for it.
Why It Works: Vulnerability breaks down walls. When you stop trying to be liked and start showing up authentically, people can relate to you. And when they relate to you, they’re far more willing to follow your lead.
2. The Reverse Feedback Loop: Let Them Lead the Way
You’ve probably given a ton of feedback to your team, but how often do you ask for it in return?
Flip the power dynamic—let your team give you feedback on your leadership.
But Wait… don’t just ask for feedback in private. Do it in front of the whole team.
How to Implement: Set up a 360-feedback session where your entire team evaluates you.
Make it clear that no one’s going to be penalized for speaking honestly. Frame it as a way to improve team cohesion, not as a personal attack.
Ask questions like, “What’s one thing I could stop doing that would make your job easier?” or “Where am I getting in the way of progress?”
Listen without interrupting. Your only job is to take notes and absorb.
Why It Works: This flips the hierarchy.
When your team sees that you’re willing to listen—and I mean really listen—they’ll feel valued, respected, and empowered.
They’ll realize you’re not just there to lead but to serve the collective mission.
3. The “No Fix” Solution: Stop Solving Everything
If you’re the type of leader who rushes in to fix every problem your team throws at you, I’ve got news: you’re suffocating their potential.
It’s not your job to have all the answers—it’s your job to create a space where they can find the answers themselves.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do as a leader is to back off.
How to Implement: The next time a team member comes to you with a problem, resist the urge to solve it.
Instead, flip the question: “What solutions have you thought about?”
“What would you try if you knew I wasn’t going to step in?”
Create a culture of problem-solving by giving them the room to fail and learn. Your role becomes one of support, not constant fixing.
Why It Works: People don’t want to follow someone who constantly makes them feel dependent. They want a leader who empowers them to solve their own problems.
By stepping back and allowing them to own the solution, you’re building confidence and autonomy in your team, which leads to deeper respect.
Final Thoughts: It's Not About Being Liked—It’s About Being Real
Here’s the bottom line: you don’t need to be liked to be a great leader, but you do need to be respected. And respect comes from honesty, vulnerability, and empowering others.
If your team doesn’t like you right now, don’t panic. It’s a wake-up call, not a death sentence.
Start by flipping the script, letting them lead, and stepping back when necessary.
Challenge for this week: Implement one of these tips immediately.
Whether it's asking for raw feedback or holding back from fixing every issue, take a step that forces you into uncomfortable territory.
Growth as a leader doesn’t happen when you’re liked—it happens when you’re real.
Stay real, stay bold and of course…
Stay genuine,
Love Dan.